i have lost it.
i have fallen.
something is wrong.
my spirit is fighting.
but my flesh is weak.
i want to die.
it overwhelms me.
i no longer want others to hurt
i want all those that i love to be happy.
i want to be truly happy.
but until i learn to love God
and rely on Him entirely
i will never be happy.
i dont deny that i have suicidal thoughts.
perhaps even a little too often.
but notice, i am still alive.
better out than in.
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